Be My Mother and Not Mother in Law

Be My Mother and Not Mother in Law

Being a new bride, entering a new home and becoming part of another family daunts every woman. That apart, there are many other thoughts that cloud her mind - how her future family would be, especially her mother in law. You can imagine what the bride must feel like. There is one question at this juncture- Why is such a big deal made out of this relationship? I am sure that there are many instances where both the parties get along fabulously.
After all, both the mother in law and the daughter in law are not in competition with each other for their son/husband, are they? Maybe, that is where the problem lies. Personally, I would love to have my mother-in-law accept me as another daughter of hers. I would love to sit with her and tell her why she should not treat me like the outsider in the family. I would actually do that. I even know how I will initiate the conversation with her.
My conversation with her would go like this. You have raised your son to be a strong, loving man. He is an adult who can take his own decisions and marrying me has been one such episode. He is a kind hearted man who has room for both of us in his heart. I feel this very strongly from my heart. Secondly, and most importantly, I am well aware of the place you have in his life. You are his mother. I have a mother as well. I know the role of a mother in the child’s life. So you should not feel that your role has no importance anymore, just because I am in his life now.
You see, mother, I am not a threat to you. Yes, I am his wife and his priorities might have changed on a few issues. However, his love for you has not changed nor has your position in his life. Do not make this an attempt to see who he will choose, if it comes down to that. You know your son very well, possibly even better than I do right now. I think the most important reason you and I should put our differences aside is so that we do not put him in this position of being torn apart by the women he loves – both of us.
Remember that I am new to this home and to this city as well. I need a friend I can lean on and someone who will be there for me. I would love it if you would be my friend and my mother too. There is so much I would like to learn from you. I need your help to do this, to strengthen this relationship. Please think about this. I miss my mother as well. She lives elsewhere and it is now you I look up to for support and comfort whenever I need it. I promise to try my best to make this relationship work and would like you to do the same. Let us join hands in building a beautiful home for all of us and live in peace and harmony.