Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage - Love After Marriage is the key !
Marriage is an everlasting institution founded on love, affection and trust. It is in fact one of the fundamentals of social life, and therefore, a prime decision of our lives. While in the western world, arranged marriages are almost like an alien concept, people in many countries, including India, are still divided in opinion regarding love and arranged marriages.
In fact, ‘love’ marriage is hardly a term in use, in the western countries, since they believe that all marriages are based in love, and therefore, it hardly makes sense to give it a specific term to differentiate. In South Asia ad Middle-Eastern countries however, people still have an inclination towards ‘arranged’ marriages, whereby the family of an individual helps select a life-partner for him/her. The culture determines whether love marriage is considered to be acceptable or disapproved of. While looking for prospective matches in arranged marriages, a person’s caste, religion, horoscope, family reputation etc. are taken care of. This naturally brings forth the question that do these things determine the success of a marriage? While older family members hold on to the belief that these criteria has an impact on the individual, and consequently, on the relationships he/she forms in life, the current generation in general, believes that love should be the one and only criteria when it comes to tying the knot.
The new-age youth argue that marriage, being a lifelong commitment, cannot be left to anybody else’s hand, and the boy/girl alone should be left to choose his/her companion. Factors like caste, family background etc. do not make much of a difference to them. For them, the instant prerequisite is to “click with each other”, or as they put it, their “wavelength should match". The fact is, nothing is an absolute determinant of how far a liaison would be successful. Especially now-a-days, we observe that marital discord, divorces, broken homes are quite a usual phenomenon unlike previous times when these were a rarity. It is next to impossible to determine what works in favour of a marriage and what does not! Humans are very unpredictable beings, and therefore, we can never say if the person in whom we see an ideal partner will stay the same or if our feelings would stay the same, years down the line!
The entire concept of making such a significant move in our life simply based on matrimonial listings in newspaper or website or feedback from common relatives might seem so very odd altogether, as does the next thought of sharing life with almost a stranger! After all, the recurring anxiety of how little we know the person as well as our compatibility quotient pesters us. People advocating arranged marriages, on the other hand, refute by saying that love marriages, in most cases, are a deception. Individuals often put their best foot forward and try every means to please the one they want to “date”, and once, marriage happens, they start taking each other for granted, and the deeper realities of the relationship surface, which, needless to say, might not be pleasant in all respects.
Marriages, they say, are made in heaven. Someone, somewhere, is made for us all, and how we meet that person depends on chance. Destiny chooses how our paths cross, whether by love followed by marriage or marriage followed by love. There are pros and cons of both, and will only be foolish if we blindly favour one and overlook the other. Love has its own weird, never-known-before ways of happening to us; life arranges it for us, be it through the one we choose or our nearest ones.
We have often heard and seen love stories like that of Raj and Simran in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge or Raj and Rashmi in Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak, to get a real life flavor of how love blossoms in an arranged marriage setup, meet Neha and Sundeep in the book "Love Hurts, Love Heals":http://www.flipkart.com/love-hurts-heals-9381791147/p/itmde8n7v7hseryc?p...
"Love is the fuel of life" - who cares if love happens after marriage or before marriage. After marriage there is ample opportunity and time to express one's love irrespective of whether it was a love marriage or an arranged marriage !
So just "Celebrate Love" from the moment you get engaged to your boy-friend or arranged-friend till eternity !!