Privacy must be respected!
In a marriage, two individuals are expected to share their lives, in the true sense of the term. However, let’s face it. Is the “two bodies, one soul” concept an attainable state of being?? Even if it is, would it be an ideal state to live in? Though it is naturally expected that we make our partner a part of our feelings, ambitions, desires, etc., but would it not smother our own selves if we actually share every little thought, every little fantasy of ours, with them? Perhaps yes.
In fact, knowing what to share and what not to, comprises an important communication skill that largely determines the equation between spouses. The right to privacy must not be forsaken, be it in any relationship within or outside the family, with or without the marital vows. Being honest with each other is an absolute must, but sharing every little thing of your life and your being is a strict no-no. There should be some part of ourselves that is retained, notwithstanding the relationships we are into. We have a right to keep that part of our lives, secret, no matter how trivial or how important, merely because we want it to be that way.
If one is not in touch with the innermost parts of oneself, he/she would not be able to strike a proper chord with his/her spouse. Therefore, the sense of privacy should be honoured, in every way, so as to increase the intimacy. To be a part of someone’s life does not mean we must have access to every little thing in his/her life. Rather than getting us closer, intrusion and probing will only estrange us from the person. Relationships cannot flourish when one tries to invade/trespass on areas where one hasn’t been invited. This is such a delicate situation where destroying boundaries will dissipate the intimacy and not nurture it.
Every individual has certain secrets he/she does not want to reveal, certain things he/she cannot give up on, certain expectations he/she cannot fulfill, certain things about oneself that he/she does not want to expose and beyond that point, every person who wants to pry is viewed in a negative light. It is up to the person to assess if such things are disturbing the harmony of the relationship, in which case, the couple might have an open discussion or seek professional help. Honesty and trust are vital for a marriage to thrive, and it depends on mutual understanding to demarcate the territories where a person can allow access to his/her spouse. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of a healthy and happy marriage, it is always advisable for the man and wife to respect each other’s privacy, so that they not only get closer to each other as a single entity but also hold one’s own ground.