Can Miles and Kilometers Influence Love?
There is one proverb that says, ‘out of sight, out of mind’, while another adage goes like, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ Both of these can be applied to the context of long-distance relationships, with the majority however, supporting the former. It is a largely-held notion that long-distance relationships don’t work, simply because the partners involved are physically apart from each other. Though ideally, love is believed to connect hearts and defy distances, at a purely incorporeal, platonic level; but practically speaking, we often tend to grow apart from people we haven’t seen, met or touched for a long time. At least this is how the world generally thinks.
However, the answer ain’t that simple. It is quite a sensitive and subjective issue, and must be pondered upon before jumping into any conclusion. There are couples who successfully, and rather beautifully, handle the lows of a long-distance relationship, while there are others that flounder and fail. All that it takes are effective communication and deep-rooted trust. After all, it is about love, the purest of all emotions, and something as trivial and superficial as distance should not be able to tarnish its honesty and profundity. While it does hurt badly that you cannot take your special someone out on a date, dinner or movie, or cannot hold hands and take a walk, or cannot see him/her smile and do other cute things right in front of your eyes, long-distance relationships can be made special in their own ways. Since the couple gets to spend limited time together, they usually treasure it and try their best to make the most of it. While on the other hand, partners that live too close to each other often end up taking each other for granted as they usually spend more time together that is required to keep the urge, appreciation and excitement alive. Too much closeness can lead to either or both of them to feel smothered.
Also, long-distance relationships, through its trials and tribulations, make one’s partner more cherished and the relationship even more valued, as they put that extra effort to nurture it, despite being miles away. Both can have the space that each of us require as individuals and the breathing room that is often threatened if our partner lives too close. Communication develops of its own accord, and the two get to discover and explore things about each other through non-physical communication, that often cements their bond in the long run. Though it’s a big challenge to having to communicate even the subtlest of things over the phone or through the Net, if handled carefully, it will strengthen the equation a lot. The gestures of love may not be as easy and as frequent as are possible for partners staying close, but the ones that do happen have a magic of their own, simply because they are not expected.
The partners only need to be clear and loyal about certain issues, such that they should decide upon a mutually convenient time to talk daily, or if possible, more than once a day, through any means, and stick to that. Skype video chat calls, text messaging, phone calls, emails etc. can be effective means. Also, sending small cards, love notes, gifts, flowers etc. for no reason can mean a lot. Pursuing common interests together or trying to engage in different activities together can also induce the feeling of intimacy and conquer the distance factor. It is also very important that they trust each other and avoid jealousy. Unnecessary suspicion, insecurity, over-possessiveness and lack of trust can prove to be fatal for the relationship. Rather, both of them should be faithful, and resist the temptation of falling apart from the relationship. At the end of day, it is the intensity and integrity that only can keep it throbbing.
Build on a healthy understanding, discuss your future together, express yourself freely, visit each other as often as possible, be positive and do not give up hope, and work towards a balanced relationship when the needs, emotions, and priorities of both can be satiated. Long-distance love can be as romantic as two people choose to make it. As Kahlil Gibran had put it, “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”