Sitting, waiting, wishing
Relationships are difficult – they take time, energy and a start up investment of a whole lot of promises and happiness. Leave all that aside and ask yourself, is it your job make someone happy every day for the rest of your life? Or is it your job to ensure your own happiness? Granted you found the ‘perfect man’ and you’ve been together for donkeys years – but don’t get too comfortable because soon enough an arrow of deceit is going to strike you hard.
I’m not deterring you from falling in love; I say go for it, and fall hard, fast and flat on your face. I’m not trying to frighten you from exposing yourself to the opposite sex – I’m merely asking you, do you know what kind of a relationship you are with yourself first?
It’s disconcerting to be with someone for a long time and then to find out that he actually doesn’t know a lot about you, as you would like him to. As time passes, things start becoming very satisfactory and you’re caught in a trajectory because your significant half begins to lose interest in even finding out what you want or more importantly, what kind of a person you are. There is a solution – throw books and movies that appeal to you on his path; write to him on the social network, take him to places that you like but withdraw yourself immediately as soon as you begin to suspect fake excitement. What’s the point? All of this leads to YOU becoming unhappy. At the end of it all, you’re the one that gets affected; you’re sad that he isn’t interested in knowing your favourite quote or bringing you your favourite flower on a random day after three years of a turbulent relationship you thought was solid.
You hurt yourself in the process without knowing and as a woman, you begin to give more because you think that’s the answer to receive some more. Alas, expectation is the root of all evil and no man, unless he’s highly motivated to judging by his personal selfish interests, is going to turn around to look at you twice. By hurting yourself, you tend to give off negative vibes in your surrounding and almost everyone around you will begin to feel that soon enough. You begin to dress like a homeless person and give up on life altogether... why? All because the man you were in love with stopped giving a flying saucer about you?
Pull yourself together because you might feel one relationship is ruined, but don’t go scarring the one bond that you have with yourself because of someone. No kind of trauma is worth causing pain to yourself. I say put on some gloss and leave the confines of your home. You might be feeling depressed, but that’s no reason to not be well dressed. Trust me, confidence begins to ooze out once you feel fabulous within, (life lessons learnt from my sister!) and soon that’s what will put you on the path to strengthening the bond that you have with yourself. Talk to a mirror, go out and meet people, don’t sit all day on the internet and brood over photographs that you took in sepia. If it’s meant to be, it will and there’s no point sitting, waiting and wishing over something you have no control of.
Must you always be waiting on someone and playing the fool? (Credit goes to Jack Johnson for that statement) It’s time you gave yourself some leverage and did something for yourself. So stop being a pushover, because as women, we tend to do that. Don’t take on favours unless you feel you’ve been given enough attention. And don’t let all this nonsense clutter your mind so much that you cannot go ahead with your own life.
Guest post by Urmika Agarwal; www.thecharmingfreak.wordpress.com