How happy can we be for our friends?

How happy can we be for our friends?

There are innumerable good things about friendship, one of the prime ones being that friends share happiness and sorrow, tears and smiles, joys and woes. They are the ones that lend support to us through our good and bad times- when we achieve something, we get a warm hug, a pat on the back or sincere words of encouragement from them. When we are faced with a setback, they heal our wounds with their comforting company and words of solace. However, friendships might not turn out to be perfect always, and once in a while a friend might disappoint us by failing to share our glee.

During such trying times, it is very natural for one to feel hurt and upset, but he/she must avoid being judgemental at the very outset, and rather try to look for reasons as to why that particular friend might have behaved in an unexpected way. If he/she is going through a personal crisis, it might impede his/her reaction to your success. In such a situation, it might be that they are happy for us, but are just not in a state to express how they feel. If the friend is usually supportive, we should ignore their apathy and allow them some time to overcome their troubled times and partake in our happiness. Also, it might be that a certain friend is not too good with expressing emotions and thus, even though he actually may be elated about our accomplishment, he may not be able to communicate the magnitude of his shared gladness.

However, in such cases, usually the person concerned resorts to some other means of giving vent to his feelings, and one must feel them out before making it an issue.
Friends are ideally meant to harbour no ill-feelings against us such as that of jealousy. At the risk of sounding a cynic, it is but an undeniable fact that in the “professional” world, friends may feel a tinge of jealousy at our successes, which often reveal itself through negative body language, back-biting or snarky remarks. Of course, it is very disheartening if our good news is meted out with such response from the people who mean the most to us during our heydays, but if such an attitude persists from their end, we have to let go and distance ourselves from them. However, it is also advisable that before pointing a finger at anyone, we actually introspect and find out if we have been a good friend. Have we nurtured the friendship with love and care, or are we calling them up now only to share our excitement about striking gold with life at that point of time? Have we lent a patient ear to that friend when he/she needed it?

If there is one friend who constantly fails to be happy for you, so much so that it is very perceptible, then perhaps it is time to either confront them and talk it out in a prudent manner, or simply to accept the fact and move on. For it makes no sense to continuously let ourselves be pestered by the lack of positive reinforcement from a friend. Relationships aren’t flawless for no individual is without his/her share of weaknesses. We all have our personal battles to fight and our own baggage to unpack. It is but a matter of relativity as to what extent a person can keep his own miseries at bay and actually rejoice for a friend when he/she gets the highest grades in college, a new job, a raise at the workplace, a fabulous apartment, or anything else for that matter.

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