Dealing with the distances
Long-distance relationships are hard, they require a lot of commitment and a lot of understanding between two people. But the most important point one should keep in mind while beginning a long distance relationship, is to not keep generalizations as deciding factors. Every relationship is different. The equations between couples vary all the time, therefore, “it works” or “it does not work” is something which you should judge for yourself, or with your prospective partner. But in case you do want to get into a long-distance relationship, there are some pointers which should always be remembered:-
1. The parameters of the relationship should be clear to both the partners. There is nothing worse than two people who are carrying on a relationship from two different places, and who have different expectations out of the relationship. The nature of the relationship should be put forward clearly. What both the partners can and cannot do should also be stipulated. Springing arbitrary rules upon your partner from another point on the earth is not a very good idea, and it should be avoided as much as possible.
2. Communication should be very clear. Two people, especially when they are living away from one another, should have more communication than usual. Call your boyfriend as much as possible, text him once in a while, even if you do not have anything pressing to say to him, share small details, e-mail him just to let him know that he’s loved and missed, skype whenever possible. There is no dearth of communication in today’s day and age. Also, make sure that its not just one way communication. If he has not been calling or texting, let him know before the matter becomes too grave, and you end up feeling unwanted.
3. If you both are leading busy live, then it is very important for the both of you to have a fixed time to talk to one another. It is all to easy to get caught up in a rush, and missing the daily chat for one day, soon gets extended to a week, and before you know it, the relationship is at an impasse. Do not let that happen. Maybe you both can sit down to skype with one another at a particular time every night, it can become a ritual, and any change in timings should be informed beforehand.
4. Try to visit one another. It is very necessary for couples to be in physical proximity of one another. No matter how much you both may talk, nothing beats the feeling of holding your guys hand and strolling down the streets, or sitting down for a candle-lit dinner, or just watching him laugh uproariously. Visit one another as much as possible, and especially on special occasions.
5. Trust. The magical ingredient to a successful long-distance relationship is trust. Both the partners have to trust one another implicitly for it to work out. Being insecure, suspicious and clingy will lead to irritation on the part of the other person, and the relationship will sour very soon.
6. Expressing yourself clearly and being honest is very important in the case of a long-distance relationship. Giving your guy the silent treatment might not be such a bad idea when you can see him every day, but these things go wrong when its a long-distance relationship in question. Do not scream or shout on a regular basis. Do not be vague about your issues. Be clear. Be honest, and be sure that the other person is getting what you’re trying to say!
Ultimately, its the efforts of two people which counts for the success of a long-distance relationship. Also, this form of relationship can be successful, but it cannot be carried on forever. If you think things are getting serious between the two of you, figure out ways to be together. Understanding and love is all that it really takes.