Can working in the same profession ensure a happy marriage?
Couples from the same profession are more well-matched. Agree? Disagree? Well, to each his own. Love, honestly speaking, has perhaps nothing to do with what one does for a living. Or so would we like to believe, ain’t it? But the new-age values, ideas and thought-processes have undergone a sea change; and consequently one’s career choices, professional facets and other such issues have started intermingling with relationships, in more ways than one. It’s a prosaic world, after all, and without the necessary means to support yourself as well as your significant other, love is proverbially said to “fly out of the window.” Along with the changing times, women have also ventured into the professional arena, and how! They are everywhere, equalling (at at times even surpassing) men in their careers.
This however, poses a question, when the stage of life comes for one to choose their life-partner; whether settling down with someone from the same field will prove to be a blessing for the marriage. Those that believe in the affirmative would argue that hailing from the same profession bring along with it a principal advantage that both the individuals concerned are already familiar with the challenges, demands and hassles of the industry. Since a major part their day is spent in their workplace, both will develop a better understanding of each other, since they are already well-acquainted with the incentives as well as loopholes of belonging to a particular profession. This will keep such complaints at bay: “Why do you come home late everyday?” “Why do you have to go to office even on Sundays?” “Why do you carry files home, and pour over them till late hours at night?” “Why do you have to stay on phone with clients, colleagues or seniors even after work hours?” and so on and so forth. They can discuss various aspects of their work-life at home, be it erratic shift-timings, salary figures, workplace-stress etc., quite assured that their better half will understand the issues concerned. Marriage becomes a partnership of all the things taken together collectively, including our professional sphere which included into the togetherness, heightens the sense of being just “the same”.
However, things are often not that simple. In the era of ever-increasing thirst for success, heightened need for the salvation of your own ego, the unhealthy concept of self-actualization and so-called “individuality” has crept into the most sacred of relationships. The rat race is ruling the job market everywhere, where everyone is in a mad craze to outstrip the others and surge ahead. In such a scenario, when you find your partner as one of the racers, equally desirous of reaching a particular destination, then the marriage gets highly vulnerable, to say the least. Ego clashes often raise their ugly head, or a suppressed sense of rivalry might also stifle the subtleties associated with conjugal ties. One might also get preachy about the profession, which may not be favourably received by the other partner. The relationship also has chances of running out of steam, as they do not have much to explore.
Dynamic conversations about each other’s workplace gets mundane after a point of time as either of them is too closely associated with the same nuances that the profession entails. Also, couples who belong to the same profession may harbour unrealistic expectations from their children; i.e. if both the parents are doctors, they would want the child to carry forward the legacy.
The trick is to prioritize the marriage above everything else. If the couple can retain the ‘fun’ factor in the same profession, without letting ego sow its ruinous seed, then they are sure to resolve all the conflicts, settle all differences and let love triumph.
They have to be able to think beyond the professional parameters, and rather, just be the pillar of support for each other, advising and encouraging one another as well as rectifying each other’s errors. The work-life balance has to maintained at all costs, in order to preserve marital harmony. Marriage is not a game where winning and losing is involved. The partners have to work like a team and treat each other like equals, and not their opponents in any way whatsoever. Same profession or different, you have to will to uphold the spirit of togetherness; only then shall the “happily ever after” cliché be realized.