Difficult siblings and how to deal with them

Difficult siblings and how to deal with them

Siblings, as children, fight almost all the time. But gradually, as they grow up, they reach a certain amount of understanding, and ideally speaking, they should become the best of friends. The bond which is created by being a part of the same family, and by watching one another grow up, is incomparable. But sometimes, the bitterness simply grows, and the anger may express itself in strange ways in adulthood. Sometimes, due to whatever reason, a sibling may start acting passive-aggressive towards you, may start showing blatant animosity and anger towards you. One way to deal with this would be to retaliate in the same way, but that is only going to aggravate the situation.

If your sibling is being judgemental, and is doing so in public, then you should put your foot down. This does not mean you start judging your bother/sister. This simply means that you assert your position and calmly tell your sibling that it is uncalled for, and that everybody can be judged, if on different parameters. Instead of being a pushover, or instead of getting defensive, being calm and rational will stop your sibling, and if not, will show others who’s on the right side of the problem.

If your sibling tend to act up at random times, and especially in public, then you need to try and talk to him/her privately. Never become the enabler by making excuses for him/her, or by thinking that you can overlook it as long as you look at the bigger picture. Acting out, being loud and abrasive is not a good habit, and is classic attention-seeking behaviour. It is only going to escalate if you do not control it.
If your sibling always tries to assert his viewpoint, try to be calm and tell him/her that it is not right to disregard the opinion of others all the time. If he/she is trying to forcibly give you advice, then you may tell him/her that you are capable of making your own decisions by yourself. If he/she persists, then it is wiser to not bring it up when your sibling is so excited. Make sure you both are calm when you bring up the issue later, privately.

When you know that your sibling is trying to leech money off you, then try to sit him/her down, and ask about the cause of the financial crunch. Tell him/her honestly, that you cannot keep doing this, and follow it up by coming up with plans through which he/she can start to earn. If he/she starts to get very defensive about the issue, then try getting in touch with friends and other people who are close to your sibling. Try to get them to tell you what the problem is, and approach him/her accordingly.

At the end of the day, you must remember that your sibling is a part of your family. Once too often, we tend to forget about how important familial ties are, and we tend to disregard these issues. Your sibling can be your best friend if only you give the situation some time and patience.

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