The working mother’s woes
It’s tough being a working parent. More so, if you’re the mother. The stereotypical roles thrust on the different genders through societal pressure ensure the validity of the father’s absences, but the same cannot apply for the mothers. Mothers are supposed to stay at home and bring up their children. And this particular rule as been so deeply implemented in every woman’s psyche, that even today, a contemporary working woman, who is proud of her struggle for equality with the masculine gender, and who does not bow down to male subversion, will still feel bad about leaving her children to go off to work. Other than societal norms and stereotypical roles, what operates here is a natural maternal instinct, and a genuine longing to see the children growing up, and to spend more time with them.
While being a working mother may be very difficult, though, it is not impossible to do, and it is not as bad as you think it is. With a few clever management techniques, a working mother too, can ensure a fair amount of participation in her children’s lives.
1. Keeping in touch with the children is important. Call them from work after they’ve come back from school, talk to them about how your day might be going, and ask them about theirs. Instead of giving them a series of instructions, just make casual conversation, which will make them feel like they’re in touch with you at all times.
2. Mark out the important dates in your planner, and let your boss know about your holidays on these dates. Birthdays, school events, extra-curricular shows are very important, and they should not be missed, so instead of upsetting both your boss and your children at the last minute, make prior plans.
3. Do not compensate for your absence with extra-pocket money or with gifts. Kids catch on to this habit very soon, and they will be trying to take advantage of this fact before you know it. You should not have to give them things in order to make up for your time away. Give them more attention when you get back home, because the gifts are not going to substitute for a mother anyway.
4. If your workplace permits it, you can always get the children along with you once in a while. This makes them feel like they’re an important part of your life. They can spend the day with you over there, and they will understand the fact that they are very important to you.
5. When you do get back home, muster the energy to go through their homework, what they’ve been doing in class, how their assignments are going, so on and so forth. This lets the children know that even though you are working, you’re still their mother and you still take charge of a lot of things. It will prevent them from slacking off from essential work.
6. Do not express guilt constantly. To your spouse, or to your children. You’re going to work for a reason, and even if the reason is your peace of mind or your happiness, it should not be taken lightly. The only reason people raise their fingers at another is when that other person bows down and admits being wrong. You need not be guilty and you need to be sorry for working. Just make sure you have reliable house help, and that your children do not lie around lazing after school. That way, the whole family will be productive and happy.