No to maid aid!

No to maid aid!

Someone has been complaining constantly to me about how miserable her life is because she doesn’t have a maid and she spends her time scolding her husband for not being sensitive. My ears are starting to hurt if not bleed. A maid doesn’t come cheap, I feel like saying. And stop pushing your husband!

I used to have a maid. When my son was a year old and another one when he was 3.Only few months later my husband and I decided kiddo didn't need anyone else in the world other than his mother ( this is a 'mild' watered down version of the entire story). He yanked all benefits like yanking carrots right from its root off the soil. Then came the divorce and the aftermath.

It really depends on the individual; there is no right way to say it. But from being used to having one then none at all, I struggled to raise my son alone. My work as a politician's personal assistant was terribly stressful...what do u expect? What - scheduled 9 to 5 working time? Expecting you can leave on time? Never. My vow of commitment to serve was water-tight and I owned up to it the hard way.

The working stress..THE stress.... The energy sapping responsibilities that awaits once home - you have to tender to your kid alone, shoving away your own much needed rest. Then by 5:30 AM you're up, starting the same routine all over again. It most definitely is not easy. It might be or look normal with a partner though – and I did not have one.

My mother occasionally came by and soon went off. Can’t expect her to be tied with a kid at home alone, she'll be bored because she's not used to sit at home being a 'housewife'. She had worked her entire life for 28 years before retiring voluntarily, but her occasional visit had a maddening effect on my son's willingness to go to kindergarten… The dragging, pulling, yelling drama.. Those were the days.. The roller coaster life.

Sigh!

Managing everything alone is terribly tiring. You just want to give up and lay down in bed being hopeless and helpless.

But I guess if both parents are working the office hours, it makes sense to have a maid to cater to your only child rather than a care taker handling a flock or swarm or a bunch of disease prone kids in a creche.

But that is just my way of thinking.

You need to build trust with the maid though. A friend of mine had the same maid for 8 years before she started demanding an absurd pay rise and came forth with absurd requests. So you can’t really tell - maids can be terribly unpredictable.

As for me, I think a maid can help with house chores while I manage the kids. Things can be much easier I suppose but my partner (second marriage) begs to differ. He will not let any stranger to live under his roof, sharing the space with him and his family. He'd rather sling the baby onto his chest while riding his bike if he has to go out to meet a client on an urgent project.

Lucky for him, because he works from home on his own time - though he chases crazy client datelines (and has to work during weekends plus public holidays). Still, he has the ability to firmly say NO to any maid aid.

But after my experience, I won’t hire any maid either, even if we are both working. I'd send my kids to kindergarten and rotate fetching day with each other.

So I’m the maid myself since 2010 and I am doing fine but I am exhausted!

This is a guest article from Mahira. To read more go to her site http://www.writeaddict.com

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